burnt out

i try to stay as positive as possible on this blog, however sometimes its hard to ignore whats going on in my life and write about positive things. this past week has kinda sucked, i thought going home would help me get into the christmas spirit but it has not. tomorrow i have to make the trek back to school (which is about 2 hours on 2 different trains and a bus) to take a final and hand in 2 more papers. at this point im so burnt out i do not even want to study, or watch the movie for the extra credit paper or write the other film paper i have due. all i want to do is stay in my bed in my cozy pajamas and sip hot apple cider and read the little house on the prairie but i can not. i really can not wait for tonight and tomorrow to be over. although right now im not sure how im going to make it through.

sorry for the negativity, i think starting tomorrow im going to start my break from social media: facebook, blogger, email, twitter so thats a warning if you dont hear anything from me in the near future. hope everyone's day is going better then mine.

another christmas memory; santa letters

my father delivers mail at the post office in town and as much as he hates it, one time of year i think he enjoys working there. every christmas season santa letters start to pour into the post office, i dont know when he started or what made him decide to do it but my father took it upon himself to reply to the letters as santa and send the kids little notepads and pencils along with a personalized letter from santa. looking back at the letters i kept that i received from santa i can tell it is his handwriting.

every year he buys a huge box of holiday themed pencils, notepads, tiny coloring books, stencils and erasers along with holiday printed paper. my mother and him work diligently to make sure every letter gets responded to and that it is personalized for the child. i remember one year a child wrote him a letter in spanish and he made us take it into school to the spanish teacher so she could translate it and tell him what to write back. he tries his hardest to make sure every child feels special when receiving their letter from santa.

the majority of the letters come from our local area, and some on his route so he knows the children and tries to include little things in the letters to make them feel special. one year we got a letter and my father knew that the family was in need and the little girl might not get everything she had asked for on her list, so him and i went out to the store and bought a few things on her list and wrapped them. very very very early on christmas morning (aka 2 am) he woke me up, we got the presents and put them on the front porch of their house. the years that followed after i would always make sure that my dad would wake me up christmas morning to help deliver the gifts to special families.

sending out the christmas cards with my father, christmas 1991

holiday quote of the week

(before my youngest sister was born, with my great grandmother)

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."

cookies

i hope the cookies i make this upcoming week turn out this cute:

another list

first things first, today i finished my first exam, tomorrow morning i have another exam and then im going home until next thursday when i have to come back for my last exam of the semester. its a little bit of a pain but seeing as its the exam for my favorite professor and my favorite class i dont mind as much. tomorrow i get to see harry potter finally and my lovebutton and i can not wait, the last time i saw him was the friday after thanksgiving so its been awhile. okay now onto the list.

some things to accomplish over winter break:
- read little house on the prairie series over again, this blogger sparked an interest in me to reread some of my favorite childhood books, she always mentions it on her blog.

- watch the sound of music i have to celebrate the 45th anniversary of the film and seeing as i was sick when i was supposed to see the sing-a-long version in theaters i'll have to sing along in the comfort of my home

- make a binder to store recipes i've collected so if you've got any great ones feel free to email it to me!

- starting christmas day i will not go on my facebook, twitter, check email or check blogger until new years day. i've spent way to much time in front of a computer screen because of my research paper and i need a break.

- bake bake bake, i have about 5 different cookie recipes i have to make for christmas and cant wait to try them and other new recipes.

- clean my mess of a room at home

- relax and take a bath because this semester has really burned me out.

- go to the library and barnes and noble

- go to some thrift stores

- do laundry and clean out closet because its been awhile

- go through my grandmoms and moms recipe boxes

- fix the dslr was given so i can finally use it!

tomorrow i think i'll return with another christmas memory because it felt so nice to share one yesterday!

christmas memories

i feel a bit hesitant to share this christmas memory because it brings up mixed emotions, happiness and at the same time sadness and missing family members who have passed away. it might be a little wordy and is a touchy subject so feel free to just skip over this post im giving permission.

my dad had an aunt and uncle growing up, they never had kids so my dad and his siblings were just as much their kids as they were my grandparents kids. luckily they lived right next door to my grandparents house so they were very close. his aunt, my great aunt lorrie was the best. we called her rere because when my older brother was young he could never say lorrie. i remember many many sleepovers at rere and poppy's house. we got to eat ice cream, watch old movies; anything with john wayne in it or my fair lady and get the best bubble bath ever. i remember little things about these sleepovers like rere taking out her dentures and putting them in water for the night, the john wayne picture framed above her bed with a rose, and waking up the next day and getting to play with her makeup. rere also happened to be the best cook ever, her soups including vegetable soup and lentil soup with hot dogs were out of this world good.

on saturday nights i would sleepover her house with one of my cousins and go to her church the next day. rere was a lutheran while my family was raised catholic. lutheran church always seemed so much more exciting then catholic church, she would always always pack a snack bag and we could go to sunday school and the pastor was amazing. pastor linda woods always made sure to spend sometime during the mass to bring the young kids up and talk to them about what the gospel was that day and just talk to us. this was no exception on christmas eve mass. christmas eve mass was probably the one day a year my whole family, grandmom, poppy and rere all went to church together. and pastor woods would always make certain to speak to the young kids.

unfortunately my rere passed away when i was in the fifth grade from breast cancer. so that first christmas after she had passed away my father made a donation in her name for the kids in mass on christmas eve to get a little gift. each year its different, but always so special. my youngest sister eventually got confirmed in the lutheran chucrh she continued to go with poppy after rere passed away and now that shes a little older she helps pastor woods pass out the presents to the kids. every year in mass we can all feel it coming, the sermon is given and the kids are called up to sit with pastor woods. she starts to talk about what the importance of the day is and explains what is happening in terms the kids understand, then she says it that members of the congregation had an aunt who very much loved kids and christmas and wanted to share this with the rest of the congregation. i always look to my grandmom because i know how much she misses her sister and then to my father and squeeze his hand. and i know we can feel our aunt lorrie with us.


the traditional kids photo before heading off to christmas eve mass.

blog funk

sorry if i've been absent lately, this past week and this week have really gotten to me. lately i have no idea or inspiration of what to write. i feel lame for writing lists over and over on here. but it helps me get through the week. currently only 3 days separate me from being home with my family because my last final is not until the 23rd. so on that little break home i'll be doing lots, we're getting our christmas tree, celebrating hannukah (were not jewish but my younger sisters best friend growing up was and now we've celebrated it for years and i missed last years), im going to finally see harry potter with my lovebutton, and i've recruited a little baking buddy for the long list of christmas cookies im baking. tomorrow i'll return with something better, another list (sorry i really love making lists).


my baking buddy, cant wait to rock my santa clause apron with her!

quote of the week

starting now until christmas,im going to be doing christmas related quotes of the week and old school family christmas photos of mine. hope you all enjoy!

my first christmas!

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.
~Laura Ingalls Wilder

the little things in life

(found here)

little things so far this week that have made me happy:
- skyping with lovebutton (boyfriend) who i havent seen since thanksgiving break
- facebook videos from my bff
- gettinng a subscription to food network magazine
- glee last night and their christmas cd
- this song
- the holiday themed dinner at the dining hall that i went to twice that included: decorate your own ginger bread men, yummy mozzerella ravioli, mashed potatoes, apple cider and coffee cider plus the gelt, hershey kisses and pomegranate i took back to my apartment with me
- sweet sweet emails
- baked potatoes with broccoli and cheese
- kicking but on my lab practical! it was so much easier than the lab instructor made it out to be
- checking things like my last presentation off of my to do list

i think the holiday spirit has finally hit me. thank goodness i was missing it! hope everyone is having a lovely humpday!

on repeat

this song is on repeat as i work to finish my research paper and study for my lab practical tomorrow. i havent taken a shower since sunday (gross i know i apologize) and last night i spent 4 hours working on my paper in the computer lab. i cant wait until next week even if finals start, i have a little break between some of them and i desperately need it. number one thing on my list when i get home for winter break is not go on the internet for a week and take baths every day. maybe i should try this out to de-stress



wish i was here instead of school only 16 more days until im home for good!

quote of the week

(found here)

Sometimes I am happy for just one moment. In that one moment I don’t think about my problems, I think of all the options I have. I think about all the years ahead of me, I think about all the awesome people I will meet, I think about all the great ideas I will get. I think about all the adventures, about love, about all the places that I am yet to discover. For that one moment I believe I will be happy one day. I know happiness is out there. I have hope.
(found here)

birthday boy

today the little boy i babysit/adore/love/future husband turns 2! before i went back to school he had his pirate themed birthday party and we had lots of fun on the moonbounce.

now here are a few pictures of finn and his sister, me and our budding relationship







he really is the cutest thing ever and i wish i was home to eat cake with him today!
have a lovely weekend!

girly girl

this summer my girl-o-meter went from a zero to this:


weeks went by when i wore only dresses (i have about 50 sundresses no exaggeration) but i thought i was pretty mild in my attempts at keeping my girlyness to a minimum, by letting everyone know i did own a pocket knife (even if it was hot pink) and by going to the shooting range with my boyfriend. although there were several slip ups where i would be found in the kitchen baking peach pie with my dress and coordinating apron on i was pretty good at hiding just how girly i was that was until i saw this picture

i was never the girly girl that was into sparkles and glitter until i saw carrie underwood rocking this outfit. I MUST REPLICATE AND OWN THIS OUTFIT ASAP! i honestly have no idea where i would wear this but just knowing that i would own it would calm my girly overload brain just a little. the outfit could become friends with my dress that reminds me of a peacock and nude heels that i was all insistent on owning but have not worn yet.

sorry this post is a little silly but my brain is fried and i needed an escape to daydream from classes. any other girly-girls out there? anyone have any ideas how i can replicate the outfit and where to wear it?

perfect timing

i logged onto my tumblr today to see this post in my feed couldnt have come at a better time. everyone should check out this tumblr because it makes me feel better everyday. it constantly reminds me i will make it through the day

(found here)

the light at the end of the tunnel

these next few weeks dont look so hot. a final lab quiz, lab practical, research paper due, response papers, film papers, and then the lovely finals start. needless to say im not looking forward to all of this. and on top of everything im still locked out of my student account. thanksgiving break was such a tease! it showed me all of the lovely things i have to look forward to over winter break: no homework, lots of babysitting, sleepovers and cuddle sessions, hopefully more apples to apples and baking and cooking. i usually have the motivation to push through but at the moment its hard finding it when my to do pile looks something like this:


i cant wait to see the lovebugs for a month straight and do this:


with all that being said its still a little hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel any advice for getting through the last couple weeks of classes and finals?

quote of the week

mail call

getting mail makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and having pen pals is the best.
at the moment i have 2 pen pals, one of my high school friends and laura so if you feel the same way and are looking for a pen pal let me know send me an email and we can figure something out :) hope everyone has a lovely weekend

thankful

(found here)

today im thankful for so many things:
- being home
- my roommate driving me home instead of having to take the train
- my loving family and friends
- having a roof over my head and food to eat always
- my education even if i complain about school daily
- bloggers friends
- pen pals and there sweet letters and gifts
- my dogs
- coffee
- glee, greys anatomy, parenthood
- country music
- bing crosby
- the mouse on the mayflower

im probably missing some important things but today thats what im thankful for. tonight im babysitting my lovebugs with my boyfriend and were baking and hopefully watching mouse on the mayflower , i'll instantly become your friend if you've seen it or heard of it before. tomorrow i might be going to the philadelphia thanksgiving day parade and then helping my family cook dinner and cant wait. thanksgivng is my absolute favorite holiday hands down! hope everyone has a lovely thanksgiving and break. what are some things you guys are thankful for?

(found here)

blog loving

the lovely laura at a pretty plethora gave me this award :


this is how it works: thank the person who gave you the award. tell 7 facts about yourself. give the award to 7 bloggers you just love. leave the 7 bloggers a comment telling them they won.

1. I absolutely hate odd numbers and try in any way possible to avoid them, its not about bad luck or anything i just think even numbers work out better.

2. When i was little i used to play kitchen or id play in my playhouse and pretend i had my own cooking show. i thought i was pretty cool.

3. Im highly addicted to caffeine and coffee. talk to me on a day when i havent had any and it wont be pleasant. talk to a day of a week i havent had any and i might bite your head off. if i could id have a direct iv of coffee with me at all times.

4. i rarely rarely watch tv especially at school, however my favorite tv shows are greys anatomy (the one good thing that came out of my roommate situation last year), glee and parenthood.

5. speaking of glee, i wish i lived in that show, or that i could break out into song and dance at the drop of a hat, or that i could sing or that i had jayma mays wardrobe and hair.

6. im a vegetarian, not for the animal rights thing, but because of the disgusting things that occur at factory farms and the awful things the farms do to our environment. if it were possible and cheap to eat free-range and grass fed meats i could but being a college student its not so easy. also i try to eat as locally as possible. i buy from a farm near my home and love the people that work there.

7. cooking and baking relieve my stress and help me solve any problems im having. if im upset they make me feel better.

im passing this award onto:

1. kendra sue : the business of creating shes seriously the sweetest person ever. whenever i post about one of my rants of hating life she makes me feel so much better with the sweet words of wisdom she leaves.
2. jessica: ciao bella shes also super sweet, has some killer fashion pictures on her blog and has the best stories in relation to my posts and her blog is just really pretty.
3. april : april maybe she's in europe right now being all awesome and having lovely travels.
4. kaleena: just add kaleena shes so cute and posts some pretty funny things
5. http://sweatshirtdressshirt.blogspot.com/ her outfit posts make me want to dress cuter for classes.
6. laken : farmhouse hands down the cutest blog ever, makes me want to live in the south even more and cook and bake all day long
7. celeste: wanderlust her pictures are gorgeous, the food she posts i want to eat all the time and i love when she does the things i love about my city posts

congrats ladies!

this weekend

in short this weekend was awful, i was locked out of all of my school accounts, email, class websites, computer services, the library and i have 7 pages of my research paper due tomorrow and all of my literature reviews due as well. also my roommates both left for the weekend and the apartment gets super creepy on weekends alone. finally it felt soooooo long because tomorrow i get to go home for thanksgiving break and i couldnt take all the waiting.

to get through it i watched lots and lots of this:

(possibly too much of it)

and now once again im hooked and cant get enough of it. i also cooked alot and alot. i think it was my body preparing for thanksgiving this week. i've made enough flashcards to wallpaper and cover the wall that is on my side of the room. i think im going stir crazy from staying inside saturday and sunday and not having a whole lot of human contact. on top of the fact that today a monday i have wednesday classes which has messed with my head all weekend.i've made a bing crosby holiday station on pandora and its been my best friend all weekend when the glee and disney ones have failed me. and yes im going crazy waiting to go home and see everyone tomorrow. i might start counting down the hours. hope you all had a lovely and more eventful weekend and your monday is lovely. :)

quote of the week

(found here)

fill in the blank friday

1. My Thanksgiving plans this year will include going to the philadelphia thanksgiving day parade, helping cook dinner and eating massive amounts of food at my house with my family.

2. My favorite Thanksgiving was last year because we were all able to eat dinner in our pajamas, and it was the first time we went to the parade.

3. My signature Thanksgiving dish is mashed potatoes, its the only time of the year they are made from scratch and my dad and i make them together.

4. My favorite Thanksgiving food is mashed potatoes or succotash.

5. Thanksgiving free association! turkey, stuffing, succotash, mashed potatoes from scratch, football

6. Thansgiving is my most favorite holiday. a holiday surrounded around food and sharing everything im thankful for.

7. I am thankful for my family, friends, boyfriend, extended fake family, the semester almost being over, good food, good music, being able to get a college education, my keurig coffee maker, potatoes and my blog friends :)

a collection of lists

if only my lists looked that pretty

things to do this week: (this list could also be called the things im stressing over)
- literature reviews for research paper
- register for classes tonight
- power point presentation on my research paper
- micro exam
- bake chocolate pumpkin muffins

things i loved about being home this weekend: (also titled reasons i wished i was still home)
- food shopping with papa bear
- going to reading terminal market and random german restaurant on south street with papa bear who NEVER goes into philadelphia
- my brother's friend greg came home from iraq and this equates to a much much happier brother
- quality time and family dinners/bonfires with my pseudo family
- drinking bottles of wine

yummy things:
- pumpkin spice coffee for my keurig coffeemaker
- homemade honey roasted peanut butter from reading terminal market
- beck's cajun cafe and their red beans and rice and corn bread that tasted like cake
- homemade jambalaya courtesy of papa bear

obsessions:
- johnny cash and june carter
- ina garten and giada de laurentiis
- david nail
- this song
- this lyric from that song: "dancing with my baby feels more like a hug"
- mandarin orange spice tea

quote of the week

(found here)

offering

the avett brothers have done it again, stolen my heart with their beautiful lyrics.

Offering

Babe I'm lost
Cause I don't know what to say
Hmmm I love you
Want to make you my wife someday

Don’t wanna steal you
Of a young woman’s light
To me it's perfect
Just wanna do you right

And I've known others
And I've loved others too
But I loved them cause they were stepping stones
On a staircase to you

Sometimes I act foolish
I don't know what to do
Please babe try not to judge me
For my offering is true

And I dream of children
We can call our own
Watch 'em run around in the front yard
From the front porch of our home

i guess this is growing up

yesterday I had an epiphany of sorts. I was eating my dinner in the dining hall alone and a girl I lived in the dorm with last year saw me and asked if i wanted to eat with them. As I sat down I realized I was not the person I was last year, and I no longer really had any connection to these people. Last year was awful in short. I did alot of things that maybe I shouldnt have done and Im certainly not proud of. I was friends with people who really didnt know the real me and pretended to be whoever it was I needed to be so I could fit in with them. for awhile during the beginning of this year I was alittle hurt that I had lost connection with some of my "friends" from last year and that they were all getting together and partying together. Now I realized that I would never want to be a part of that group ever again. they aren't people I see myself being friends with 15 years down the line or even next year.

one thing that really hurt me yesterday however was that Im beginning to grow farther and farther apart from my one best friend from high school. over the summer we got really really close again but now we go days without talking about anything or even talking at all. we write letters but sometimes I feel like there isnt anything I have to say. as i see her interact with her other friends I realize maybe its time for us to move on. sometimes it seems like we have nothing in common and usually that is what makes our friendship so great we challenge each other to do things the other one wouldnt really do. the moment i realized we might be growing apart when she wrote this to me, we had plans to make a slushie run when im home this weekend and she goes "okay plus we could always cut our talking to a minimum and just do a slushie run which only takes approximately 20mins" ouch that really hurt that she didnt really want to make the time to hang out and that we would only be spending about 20 minutes together on a weekend im home thursday through sunday. plus we've had to cancel plans for her to visit me at school twice and i've seen her once this month.

am i overthinking and overreacting about this whole thing??

sorry this is a long winded post with alot of words but it helps me work through what is going on by writing it out.

"I wanna have friends that I can trust,that love me for the man I’ve become not the man I was. I wanna have friends that will let me be all alone when being alone is all that I need."

random non related things

last night i was feeling ambitious and i made some homemade mashed potatoes, usually those are reserved for thanksgiving but i just couldnt wait and while i was doing that i figured why not make these not many were saved for today because for everyone i put in the bag to eat later i ate 2 right that second off the pan. they are sooo delicious i wish i could have had more control and saved some.

im starting to get a cold and i took medicine for it last night and it totally wiped me out im surprised i didnt fall asleep in the shower i felt so tired. after having mono last year any tiny cold exhausts me so im trying to load up on lots of fruits and veggies.

i absolutely love this blogpost and how positive she is no matter what happens to her!

finally i cant wait for it to be thursday because im going home early this week to attend a dinner with my boyfriend and my mother and the little girl i babysit have lots of plans that include: christmas shopping, baking and sleepovers!

i wanna love like johnny and june

whyy did it take me this long to watch walk the line? i watched friday and i must say it was soooo much better then i expected. plus one of my girl crushes: reese witherspoon is in it! also i loved the beginnging of the movie when johnny was a little kid, i love that his real name was JR and am not adding it to my list of boy names for future children (yes i have a list of possible boy and girl children names)

also i did some searching and look at how amazing johnny cash's house is!!


the movie overall was really good, besides reese witherspoon, tyler hilton played elvis presley who i have a soft spot for because i always listened to elvis growing up due to the fact that my dad has a hugeee man crush on him!

alrighty i need to edit some research papers, do lab homework, pick up my package, update to do lists/calendars and create a johnny cash pandora station! have a lovely monday loves!

quote of the week

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in. " -- Hub from Secondhand Lions

not normal

few things about this post that are not normal, its the first week of november and im already thinking about my christmas list and thanksgiving isnt even here yet, secondly im a college student and here are the types of things im asking for:


vera bradley recipe box

matching vera bradley apron

a book from anthro to write down recipes

and recipe markers for my cook books

im not entirely sure that your average normal college student would ask for any of these.

have a wonderful weekend loves :)

recipe for a perfect day

coffee related crafts


collecting leaves while walking to class


nonstop


cute lines from movies

ANDDD possibly the greatest part to a day:



the little one i babysit visiting me at school with my mother! :)